Friday, August 21, 2009

show


Last night I played my show at the Gap in Schaumburg, IL's Woodfield Mall. The whole endeavor was a success although a lot of my closer friends couldn't make it out because of it being so far away. Overall though it was a lot of fun and I was glad I did it.

I've spent the last two weeks slaving away on the Humble Pie EP and I finally got all of the music re-recorded and mastered, then I worked on the album artwork and got them all printed and shipped. All 25 have already been sold within 24 hours, which is pretty exciting. I guess I'm going to have to make a new batch...

Sunday, August 9, 2009

I Corinthians 13:4-8

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

By innocence I swear, and by my youth
I have one heart, one bosom and one truth,
And that no woman has; nor never none
Shall mistress be of it, save I alone.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

red river gorgeous


When I was 20 years old I drove 1009.9 miles to sleep on the ground in the woods with the man that I love.

We met in Winchester, KY at a Chevron off the highway on Saturday afternoon. I jumped up and wrapped my legs around him like my life depended on it. And in some ways it does.

Dinner at the Waffle House. Neither of us had been there since our first meeting upon my return from Chicago back in May. It's funny what a strange relationship we have with such a shoddy eatery. Some couples have favorite restaurants, we favor the WaHo. Our waitress Bobbi Joe was one of the happiest I've ever met. Interested in hearing of our epic journey to meet in the middle of the country, she served us in good spirits and was a pleasant alternative to the wonted woebegone waitresses of the south. We left satisfied and ecstatic to drive out the Red River Gorge in the early evening.

After a long drive out into the mountains, curving roads, dark tunnels and damp forest, we parked our cars at a trailhead and marched into the wild with 60 lb. packs and patent verve. The path led beside the rust-colored river for about a mile before leading us across a rope bridge. After trudging up the side of the river we realized how dark it was getting and that setting up camp would be increasingly more difficult if we waited until nightfall. Because the Gorge is vehement about low-impact camping, many of the more accessible sites were roped off and we were forced to bushwhack into the forest to make our own site. We dug a fire pit into the moist ground and clipped weeds and brush to make a clear surface to set up camp. After complete darkness had fallen we were finally finished pitching the tent and safeguarding our gear from rain, we had barely enough time to flare up a few marshmallows before the rain hit. And by rain I mean buckets and buckets. It fell all night long and accompanied thunder and lightening, of course. We took shelter and slept in the wet valley all night, wrapped up together on our blanket pallet. It was a terribly perfect night.

I woke up first and made some tea. Our camp was totally destroyed by rain, everything was soaked. I fixed oatmeal for Chris and when he finally woke up I peeked into the tent; he commented on what a lovely way to wake up it is, to see my face. He is warm to wake beside and warm in manner always. We packed up our wet gear and set back to the trailhead. I think after such a night we were ready to find a more suitable campsite and we took our cars up out of the valley to the other side. After stopping at the gas station for pretzels and soda, we drove back up the other side of the mountain to seek new grounds. The views were stunning, the woods were peaceful and clean. Huge valleys filled with trees and breath-taking cliffs, it was humbling to be a part of. We trekked around to check out the open camp sites and the woods were just beautiful. As we were walking down the paths we decided to break off and explore some of the offshoots of the trail and came upon the perfect site. It stood at the top of the mountain, overlooking the entire valley below. We had views of miles of woods and cliffs, not to mention the stunning orange sunset that we watched sitting in our hammock. It was everything we deserved and we were enraptured by it. We spent hours laying in that hammock together, just holding one another and drifting in and out of sleep.

We made a new friend, a white cat with spots that I dubbed "Montana." Chris agreed the cat was "big and useless had no speed limit." He also scared the piss out of me after rubbing up against my back while Chris told me scary stories, and woke us up before dawn the next morning. After spending time starting a fire and cutting wood (I credit most of the wood cutting to Chris, besides, he is the more manly of the two of us), we played with the cat and made rice and beans. It was funny, they were both good dinner company. Getting tired was easy, sleeping was easier. It always is.

Monday morning we woke up just to get in the hammock and fall back asleep. After packing everything up we headed out of the mountains again for the last time. One last stop by the gas station for a delicious mustardy pretzel and we head out to Winchester in search of a movie theater. Eventually we end up back in Lexington for some civilized activities. We found a cool vintage theater where we settled down with some popcorn and snowcaps to watch The Hurt Locker. It was a good movie but I really just enjoyed the date. We parted ways in that parking lot and I know I'd do it all over again if I had to. I drove straight back to Chicago to arrive back at my apartment around 2:30am. Completely worth it.

When I was 20 years old I drove 1009.9 miles to sleep on the ground in the woods with the man that I love.

Monday, July 27, 2009

it's never over

The day was long and wonderful, I spent the morning ecstatic and the afternoon exploding, I have voiced now: we are made together of the same earth and I am whole heartedly enthralled.

"And with everything you said
Although it may sound rushed
I don't use this word lightly, I'm not one to push
But I can honestly say with complete truth
By the gospel of your moves
That I'm in love with you."

I took a weekend off of work to meet him halfway. We'll spend Saturday driving up/down to Red River Gorge in Kentucky to hike and camp out for a few days. That's how it should be. We meet halfway for the ones we love. Compromise and sacrifice are two things I have much to learn about, but how wonderful he is, the peace I have knowing, it doesn't make me mind a damn bit. I will be patient for this.

He's waiting on his visa for Sudan, to work in the dirt and sweat. I'll make the effort to see him as often as I can before he leaves, if he leaves. If he goes, we'll roll with it. Make it work. I can wait. If he doesn't go I'm going to make him a new home in my arms.

Friday, July 24, 2009

albatross


Since waking up this morning at 5am for work, I've been on my feet running around the cafe and carrying furniture around the city. Some lovely vintage sectional couches were waiting in an alley way behind the bank: I catered to their beckoning call and with the help of my dear friend Evan, we lugged them into my 3rd story attic apartment (but not before carrying them through various allies around the neighborhood, taking two trips downtown and removing the front door.) I've spent the last 3 hours scrubbing and disinfecting, sanding and clipping, and $30 overall on cleaning supplies and labor. Not bad for a couple of sweet ass vintage couches, but I still can't figure out why the previous owners felt it necessary to wrap each leg in a half inch layers of ragged orange and brown duct tape. It's a good thing I didn't nab that couch at the Salvation Army for $300. Dumpster diving is a full time job. Always keep an eye open, people throw away good furniture because they don't want to put up with cleaning it. This will be "our" couch.

I think most people are that way about a lot of things. It's not that I was ever against repairing things broken, but I'm more the kind of person to wait around until I find something worth really working on. I just recently left my boyfriend of a year and a half for my childhood love. It's funny the way you seem to re-meet people as you grow older and move away for college. After ten years I'm still just as crazy about the guy as I did the day he asked me to sit on the bus with him. We'd listen to Nirvana and Green Day together with a crappy foam headset. Now he flies up to Chicago so we can drink champagne on the front porch and sleep on the floor after long days of lovemaking and movie watching. His name is Chris. He's one of eight people's birthdays I've ever remembered. We have the same tattoo. We're going to dance down the isles. He makes me crazy.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

genesis

"I'll love you 'til the cows come home, but after that you have to leave."


Writing songs is hard for me. I can only write about two things, love and smoking. Two things that ruin lives and good sleep more than anything else. We can slaughter ourselves and others, but the only thing that matters in the end is that we get what we want and we had a good time doing in. Welcome to the world we live in, lovers of the light and color chargers.

My heart is going to Sudan, where are you going.

Go Barons.